I can get caught up in the "what's next?" syndrome, staying so focused on the future and what's up ahead that right now starts to feel not quite good enough.
Like I have to just achieve this one thing and then I'll be totally satisfied.
But of course, the satisfaction never really comes from the achievements themselves because once we have "the thing"- whatever our goal may be- the sense of happiness and accomplishment is often cut short as a new goal quickly falls into its place.
This is much of the reason why I'm choosing to, I guess, "lay low" on the whole "goals" thing this year. I do have goals, of course, but I no longer want to focus so much on how exactly I'm going to reach them.
When I look at my goals from that long-distance perspective, the journey feels so long and arduous from here, and it makes me start to second guess myself, start to lose motivation and get all sorts of procrastinatey.When our sense of fulfillment becomes wrapped up in attainment, then the "if I just do that thing, am in that place, act this way, have this happen, then, I'll be happy" treadmill becomes miles and miles long, and we never feel quite happy with where we're presently at.
One way to hop off that treadmill of conditional happiness is to celebrate your accomplishments!
I did this recently myself, taking a cue from the so so smart Christine Kane (if you're not reading her blog yet, check it out- you'll love it) to simply list out 100 accomplishments my life.
You write down 100 things you've created, made happen, achieved, rocked at, are proud of. Think big and small, from kiddom til now, anything that comes to mind.
And then (this might be the trickiest part) you actually give yourself an opportunity to take that all in.
Take a moment to acknowledge yourself- all that you've already done and who you already are.
Yes, 100 things! It sounds like a lot, but you can take a few days to do it, adding to the list as you think of things. And when you do get to 100 (I bet you could even think of more! I did!) and let yourself actually celebrate all those things, damn if it don't feel good!
And that's what it's all about really- feeling good.
Feeling whole.
Feeling satisfied with our lives.
Feeling like we matter, like we make a difference.
Feeling like we've found our place in the world.
Feeling happy, right where we're at.
So, instead of beginning your journey from a place of lack, and "I'm not enough", imagine if you moved forward, towards those goals and big dreams from a place of "look at all I've done?"
Imagine if you moved forward fully knowing what you are indeed capable of?
I think it'd be a lot easier to create the life you truly want with that kind of powerful energy behind it!
So ultimately, I guess if I hope to achieve anything this year, it's to come away from behind the binoculars that are always focused on my goals, and instead remember to look around to see what's right in front of me- the happiness, and accomplishment, and all the reasons to celebrate that are right here, right where I'm at.
Feel inspired to list out your own accomplishments? I hope so! I'd love to hear what you think about this idea, and if you're gonna go for it, in the comments!
Just what I needed to read and think about today. Thank you!
Posted by: Lori | Jan 10, 2013 at 02:11 PM
Awesome! Youre welcome. Thanks so much for reading, Lori!
Posted by: Miss Modish | Jan 10, 2013 at 03:16 PM
I was going to say the same thing. I needed to read this today. 100 things seems like a lot but I'm going to give it a shot. I need to remember all the little things too.
Posted by: Krystle | Jan 10, 2013 at 04:05 PM
Yes! Its all about the little things. Lots of little things on my list, and moments and experiences Im glad to have had :) You can do it!
Posted by: Miss Modish | Jan 10, 2013 at 04:35 PM
Yep, that describes me to a T, and probably every self-employed person. Never satisfied where we're at, always pushing pushing pushing toward the next goal and never feeling satisfied. Going to write 100 accomplishments right now, this post came right in time for me. :)
Posted by: Van | Jan 12, 2013 at 05:05 AM
Hi Van! Yep, youre right- the curse of the self-employed. Im only just starting to escape out from under that feeling after 5+years, so youre doing good! It takes time. Glad this post spoke to you and thanks for saying hello!
Posted by: Miss Modish | Jan 14, 2013 at 02:14 PM
Thank you Jena, I am going to do this exercise.
Posted by: Aimee | Jan 17, 2013 at 06:38 AM
I feel like I totally needed to read this. This is confirmation that I really need to divorce the stress in my head and get some rest. I'm in that awkward 20-something stage and I can't seem to stop comparing my life with others. My mentor has been challenging me to be more content with myself. I believe that writing down my accomplishments will be a good exercise. Thank for sharing this! :D
Posted by: Jaznellow | Jan 20, 2013 at 03:41 PM
Oh gosh, I feel for you! I totally know where youre at and just so you know, I can say theres been a marked difference in how I feel about where I am in my life since turning 30- its a big shift. It really will get better in time and its awesome youre taking the steps to try to focus more on yourself and where you want to go, and less on how it compares with other peoples journeys. Keep at it and hope this exercise helps. Thanks for saying hello!
jena
Posted by: Miss Modish | Jan 21, 2013 at 11:19 AM