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Nov 03, 2011

Comments

Catherine Chandler

Great post! And oh my goodness...I have the hardest time saying no to people. I like helping others. I like it when others are happy. I am getting better at saying no to people...and to those who *know* that I am bad at saying no, and have taken advantage of that...well, I find that simple distance works best in that situation. Otherwise I start off with something like "well...." instead of yes or no, until I figure out if something is really possible, or I tell them I will check and get back to them.

I'm glad you're finding your balance again!

ByYourSide2009

LOVE the new look... because of my "no" issues this is my first visit since the change!!
I have gotten much better in my personal life with the "NO" thing, though that also means a few peeps have disappeared!! The thing about working at home is people assuming you can babysit, run errands, and do favors (sew custom insane project ideas for free)... because all I do is sit here all day, NOT!!
But, I have been having major "NO" issues with my business, and after reading your article, I really had to think! I want my customers to have the best possible experience, and I have been spreading myself too thin! I said NO to a project for the first time the other day, felt weird and I had the same fears you did, but in the long run I believe my business will be better for it!!!
You put it all into words PERFECTLY!!
Thanks for sharing, good to know I am not alone and here's to BALANCE!!

drsmoothdeath

Great advice my dear! If it were not for the word "NO", I fear I would never see you again!! ;)

Zoe

Saying no is something I need to learn to do as all too often I say yes, like you in fear of not having any work. Thank you for a great post :)

Yuko

I liked your post so much. I am also have fear to say "no" to people. Because by saying NO to people I feel fear of not liked by the other people, fear of not feeling a good person, fear of ... anything. But by saying YES always to people, I realized that sometimes people treat me like a not valued person, or neglected the existence. Or I say Yes always to people just because I want people to be happy. But also in this case I didn't asked myself if it's an excess effort.. It get effort and courage to say "NO". It's not always easy.. At first, I felt guilty and fear of remaining alone.. I needed to focus more on me and listening myself.. But little by little I am trying to say NO to get something more which makes me happy. Thank you for sharing your experience and it gave me more courage. :)

twiggs

i loved this and i so understand what you're saying! a few weeks ago i was buried in work and leaving one project behind, though i was still respecting the deadline i had given. but then she sent me an email saying that she wanted to talk to me the following day and i just prayed for her to say that our project was not working and she would have to look for someone else to do it! can you imagine that? she actually wanted me to do something else and would like to share an idea! but i have told her once one other thing that made me feel really good "i'll get to this next monday, because i don't work during the weekends!" now that felt GOOD! :) i am sharing this on my FB page ;)

Monique

I definitely have a problem saying no. I've experienced very similar experiences by biting more than I could chew. I'm still learning to say no, but I'm not there yet. I recently took part in a urbanatholon event because I couldn't say no. It challenged me physically and mentally and was worth it. However with work it's been tough because I'm new and feel the pressure of having to do a really great job to prove myself. I often forget that I need time to sleep and relax too!

Leina

Hello! How true is that! This familiar feeling of being overwhelmed with doing so many things at the same time, constantly multitasking IRL and in the computer... Packing and unpacking different workshops... Being panicked already in the morning and finishing busy days... well, almost in the next morning...

Luckily life somehow teaches to say NO and this really is relief - but for freelance crafter there are always traps to say YES... and to fell once again into this big hole of yes-yes-yes cycle (I am just now realized, it starts happen to me and this post somehow met me in the right time to remember things I learned lately).

So thank you and I wish luck to the Maven Circle! And I will definitely write about it in our website craftwerk.ee, where we try offer all sort of crafty inspiration and ideas to Estonian crafty sistas.

Celeste

I just found you and I LOVE this post. I, also, have just recently learned the power of saying NO. People pleaser that I am, I tend to take on way more than I can handle sometimes. And so I got the courage up to start saying no...and guess what...people actually respected and were considerate of my "no I can't do this right now." Which for some reason was amazing to me! Learning boundaries can be so empowering! It really was a feeling of freedom to step outside the box and set some boundaries.

Kudos for discovering your "NO"! :)

Miss Modish

You're right, it's better for your biz in the long run- anything that makes a healthier, happier you is better for your business in the long run, I think! Good luck keeping your NO hat on! :)

Miss Modish

I love that you said you need to start focusing more on yourself and listening to yourself- that's exactly right. Trust in you, you already know the answer and if your gut says no, stick to that! Thanks so much for sharing :)

Miss Modish

I'm glad the post helped you realize you were back in a yes-yes-yes cycle, I know what that's like- it's fun to say yes until all the deadlines start to catch up with you! hah! Thanks for the well wishes & for sharing our site! YAY!

Miss Modish

Yay! Thanks so much for saying hello and sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you found me :) And I'm glad you discovered your NO too! hah!

Shelley

Thank you for putting the idea of saying "no" into a positive perspective. I struggle with this as well, and this post was helpful and insightful. I appreciate it!

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